Today I leave for the United States to attend the Rotary Peace Forum in Hawaii.  I get up at 6am and arrive at Alison’s by 7.30pm.  She greets me with a big smile and we put my things in her car and off to the domestic terminal in the airport to do the jump to Sydney then onto Honolulu.

Alison is speaking to me about life and her meditation.  She is working on expanding her heart.  Her husband is an interesting man, he is a former social worker and he is developing through meditation a deeper integration of the feminine in man.  The feminine is not female or being a woman, it is part of all of us.  Each gender has masculine and feminine to differing degrees.  For example, how many men have you met that seemed to be very gentle and serving, not the stereotype at all.  How about the many females who are not the stereotypical women but more like guys, powering ahead in their careers, making things happen etc.  Each person has this mix and depending on their conditioning can either balance these energies or deny them. When the feminine in the masculine is denied you tend to get a male could exhibit traits where he sees a weakness in women perhaps feeling aggressive towards what the feminine desires, he may suppress his feelings opting for rationale discussions avoiding the emotions.  The woman who denies the masculine may be negative or fearful towards males, she may shy away from assertiveness, may tend to stay in the background and be dependent. She may look for someone to protect her, she may be more emotional and less logical etc.  This can be present in either males or females as we see men dependent on women, women dependent on men, some men more emotional some women more logical.  It is so interesting to see these orientations play out.  So these energies promote essentially the nurture and the action person, the blend of these provide for a person who is well integrated and at peace with men or women.  He or she is accepting of diversity and sees one global community.  So we chatted about this. 

I am excited about my trip and see myself bringing REAL HOPES to the States which is my peace education work.  In light of the recent shootings in schools I really feel people are in despair and need to believe in the good in this world.  Not everyone is on the take or out to abuse or use them.  There are wonderful people in this world and I feel blessed to meet them.  I seldom meet dark hearted people, mostly I find people interesting and always I learn from them.

Alison dropped me at the domestic Qantas terminal as my flight goes from Perth to Sydney and then to the United States.  I hurried in.  I usually do a carousel check in but I find Qantas confusing.  Even online was not straightforward.  So I rushed to the international counter and checked in with staff.  I’ve travelled the world so I am hardly inexperienced, Qantas appears to do things differently.   I went through security and felt happy to see the guys and women there.  I then went to the gate and heard my name called over the loud speaker.  Turns out I dropped my Commonwealth Bank card, so had to go back downstairs and then back through security.  There was like 10 minutes before boarding.  I felt some fear arise but was conscious to go with the flow as well.  Then at security the bomb and chemicals tester decides to test my bag.  I did explain I am in a hurry and thankfully she didn’t hold me up but happily chatted as she checked.   I always smile at being checked as I am into peace, the total opposite of what they are looking for, yet often I get tested.  

I smiled at the delays and in the silence of my heart thought of peace, must be peace under all circumstances.  This is a discipline and a practice in awareness.  I ask myself what is the awareness that watches myself as I move through life.  It is a fundamental question that I venture could change the world.

We boarded the plane and I sat in the middle of two men.   I struggled to get my backpack into the overhead lockers, first time, usually it fits.   I mentioned this to the older man in the seat next to mine and noticed he didn’t offer to help.  I have to be honest here there was a judgement in my mind but thankfully I am aware enough these days to challenge my own thoughts. 

I immediately sat down and grappled with my phone as I have to get my address in the US, I didn’t ask my Rotary host thinking she may not have wanted to provide it for privacy reasons, we hadn’t met and she was picking me up from the airport.  In retrospect writing this, I recognise an error in judgement in myself as I should have listened to the voice within which did say to get her address earlier.  I was being polite but not practical.  I had to text Alison to ring Hawaii and get it for immigration. 

I settled down, wiped the sweat from my brow, didn’t really like the fact I was in the middle of the row, but accepted it as ‘is what it is’ and settled down.  I immediately noticed how quiet everyone is.  We are not seeing potential friends next to us we see it as commuting and say nothing.  The airline puts on a movie to keep us plugged in and quiet.  I so notice this silence and it is not peace but a sense of separation I feel.  I then recall years ago people used to chat so much on aircraft.  When I was 20 travelling to the States I was a smoker and recall smoking with some lady chatting the whole trip.   That was normal back then.  How times have changed.  I always marvel at this.

However, as this was early morning and I wasn’t up for chatting as I felt so tired.  I yielded to the silence, as these were guys I did feel a sense of its okay to remain silent.  So settled in and noticed an inner peace within myself.  My 10 day retreat of Vipassana has given me a sense of peace just sitting without the need to plug in for entertainment or distraction.  I just observed whilst finding myself relaxing into a semi sleep. 

I felt the plane running down the runway, the familiar sound of the engines and said quiet mantras for my work to lift off.  My dream is to bring peace education to the world in the shape of a clown.  I see the clown as an archetype of peace. 

It is funny I am sitting at the Sydney airport lounge typing this and just as I typed clown I heard a man say ‘clown’.  I thought I must be hearing things.  I look up and he had his child in his arms and he is pointed, at yes, a clown.   It is a clown with yellow hair waving.  I am aware of synchronicities.  Even when at the last housesit in Perth I noticed the clown on the fridge for the child in the house.  It is such a universal symbol of happiness and bright colours for children.  Well I sit here with my red indian style dress and black pants.  I have my jesters vest on with the words on the back ‘we look forward to a time where the power of love overcomes the love of power, then our world will know peace.’  I have a beautiful blue hat and look colourful.  It is my universal when I feel I am travelling for peace.  The kids don’t know I am a clown but I sit here and notice them and smile.  I feel a bond with them and a sense of knowing them not as an adult or parent, but as a friend.  As a clown I enter their world and it is a world I see in equality and positivity.

So my dream is to bring love and joy and to remind people to not be so serious.  We are here to live to the fullest, we are here to be happy and there is no reason we cannot turn this earth ship around.  There is no reason we cannot choose world peace.  If we can choose conflict we can choose the opposite, it is no further than our thoughts.  I feel our world is on a precipice and we indeed are changing in every moment.  We will see external changes which will force us to reflect inwardly on who we are and what future we want.  I am very mindful of the children and the future they inherit and it is my love and joy to be a peace clown and to inspire them to trust their inner selves and that they are unique and beautiful as they are.  I love to show them we are one world and one energy and they can decide whether it is good, bad or indifferent.  Each of us creates our own reality and decides the future.  I am choosing a happy and peaceful future and will do my best for the people in this world.  Why do I want to work for society, I love people and see their beauty.  I believe in them.  They are me.

I found myself drifting off and on.  Then heard my name and dinner was served.  This is the advantage of being a vegetarian I get fed first and I was hungry.  I had chick peas and rice, yummy and a little love heart cake sitting there to remind me of my work, it is all about love.

I went to the toilet and chatted to a guy on business down there.  I found out later on route to the US that the Department of Transport states that we passengers cannot congregate around the toilets.  I see this as paranoia and connected to the war on terror.  Most people will allow the loss of freedom as they feel they are being protected.  I see real protection in solving problems and creating dialogue.  Centrally facing the truth.  There are universal laws and what you put out into the world comes back, some call that Karma.  I see countries engaged in aggression and when they look at that more deeply they will see the seeds of conflict being created through power over rather than power within.  This is the mindset of a peace educator.  I feel conflict is an opportunity to look at self not the other.  Harking back to the congregating around toilets, it makes an innocent act suspicious and reminds me of Egypt when I juggled on the platform and men came around me in a half circle, then the police came and said it was illegal to have people gather.  They were innocent and just admiring the juggling but in the mind of paranoid authorities it was potential power base to threaten their power.  I also thought of my flight back from Chile where the passengers were all chatting, it made the long trip bearable and of course nothing happened, which is the reality I live in.  I have no interest in projected fear.  As fear attracts and creates what you fear. Also we cannot control life, if it is my destiny to die in a plane so be it, it will never stop me from travelling and living my life to the fullest.   

I then sat back down and said a few words to the older fellow next to me who I had judged earlier.  This naturally opened into a very interesting conversation for the next few hours.  I noticed retrospectively my judgement of him was of course, wrong.  As I was open to being wrong, thank god.

He is a salesman called Denis.  He is a lovely English guy having immigrated to Australia.  He said he had a positive mind and was an optimist.  His wife feels the woes of the world and he encourages her there is nothing she can do just enjoy life.  He did believe people are powerless until I told him my story.   He told me his son sponges off people, a lovely bloke though but a musician and no fixed address.  I told him my story of no home for 1.5 years and that I had no husband, no home and no job yet here I am living my dream.  I told him of my economics background and what could have been had I chosen the money.  Instead peace is my dream and I feel the world is at a point where we must move to a heart based consciousness or we won’t survive as a species.  I personally have a very positive vibe about people and I do see the good in people.  They feel powerless and there is so much negativity in the news that it seems people don’t learn.  But as I said to him we never hear about the great people, what they are doing and the peace breaking out everywhere, where disputes are being resolved, families reuniting and the good that is happening beneath the radar.

I could see him feeling inspired and I am sure after the course of my discussion he changed his view.  I encouraged him to see life as reality, what is now is reality there is no past and future.  I also explained the importance of stillness, to be able to be at peace alone and in the silence.  Of course I am working on this still (pun there).  The retreat I went to was wonderful to be silent and I noticed it has permeated my life.  To find time for self is so important in a noisy world disconnected from self and he said he was really after a break to do nothing and be himself.  

We spoke of peace and I felt him shift in his perception as he felt the powerlessness in life but tried to stay optimistic.  I felt I may have left him with an idea that peace is not only possible but is our destiny.  I feel it deeply.

We said goodbye and disembarked the plane.  I navigated my way to international transfers and to the airport bus.  I found myself in the waiting area observing parents and children.  I watched the children speaking non stop to the mother and her patience as she answered them not really engaged in the content.  Not easy being a mum.  The father seemed less tolerant or understanding of the developmental needs and innocence of a child.  I recognised within myself it is not an easy job.  I then saw this woman across from me.  The child was running around and he nearly tripped on her bag and then said to her she should have moved it.  We both smiled at each other that he just felt the world should move for him.  So funny to hear this little protest.  The lady ended up moving towards me and we chatted.  Turns out she is on her way to New Zealand and belongs to Universal Dances of Peace.  She is off to a workshop where they will look at the Sufi’s and Whirling Dervishes and how they spin.  I questioned if in the southern hemisphere they would spin differently to the northern.  Just think of the water going down a toilet.  I just wondered.  She had never thought of that.  She did indicate they spin in the opposite direction to the spin of the planet, so put in that context I guess it doesn’t matter where on the planet you are.  They speak of altered states and spiritual awareness awakened.  I’ve heard that the chakra’s all open as they spin.  So we discussed peace and her love of dance.  I just marvelled that we automatically gravitated towards each other, both into peace in our own way.  I notice this a lot in my life I am meeting people and it meant to be. 

I am now typing on the plane listening to the Captain giving us information and that we are delayed.    We are about to take off from Sydney Australia to Hawaii US.

I feel this is an important trip and will watch every word, thought and action as I explore peace even more deeply and think and reflect on our world and where it is at.  For the world is me, I am seeking to consciously take more responsibility for myself.

I am looking forward to the Rotary Peace Forum conference in Honolulu, I am expecting to learn a lot from other professionals and people that I meet.  I am curious to see how the ripples of life just take me to where I need to go.  I am allowing life to guide me and at peace with whatever occurs.  Life is indeed a miracle.  I have $100 in my account and I am on a plane with some funds to spend in the US donated to me.  I am excited and inspired.  I feel this is the right time in my life to be bringing this work and message.